Actress. Model. Storyteller.
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Life whispers to us, constantly, hints to make our everyday better by hearing from past falls and rises our chance is to learn from that and shut down fear, to make a better future.
Peoples have built, for thousands of years, breath taking temples to worship gods, a home to let their spirit wonder in those graceful places for visions and ideas, there is balance and lightness in every step. Hence this old saying,” My body is my temple”, for our flesh and skin, which we honour, to obtain a finer self-awareness and love toward ourselves. How could my mind wonder free if I am trapped in the sanctuary I let to crumble? Would I ever dare to step my foot into a church with collapsing walls and seek the shelter? I revived my weathered chapel and am still crafting my own “La Sagrada Familia Basilica” until the day I close my eyes when I leave the wisdom for the new generation to continue building.
Every morning I open my eyes and upon the moment my feet are touching the floor, I give thanks for my life. Next most important thing is to drink huge glass of water with magnesium powder in it, which hydrates me, and gets my metabolism going. Additional I take SAM-e which is great for brain, mood, liver and joints. Then I relax for a whole 15 minutes without switching on any device at home and enjoying the best time, morning time. Tea time! People find kind of funny I prefer my tea with milk, but oh well… That is a time when I open my keto eating window for 4-5 hours as I practice intermittent fasting. Before the food I take all the necessary vitamins, minerals, compounds and herbs. And then the FOOD! Food, which is passionately picked out my night before food fantasies. Fasting is hard, but that makes every time having food even more special for me and every bite more enjoyable and fills me with energy until the very next day. Now window is closed. After some hours I exercise and do flexing, maintaining my body. Drink a jar of ionized clay water to purify body from toxins. Then some hours more using evening time for creating new or realising ideas and dreams. Then some night time tea with magnesium powder again. Night time minerals, vitamins, compounds and herbs. Thinking what a great day it was and tomorrow gonna be even better. Meditating a bit in my cuddly bed and falling to sleep.
If my body is a temple then let my mind be a worshiped tabernacle shining in altar. Rose gold metal shimmering luminously when first morning sunray seizes it until moon takes over the sky and vessel glooms peacefully. So be 7 days until priest says let the ornament be amongst crowds, let them open cabinet and share wine and bread without fear that one takes more than shared. Like miracle troubled hearts before, afraid of tomorrow are feeling now peaceful, free from sorrow.
In the moment, I stopped taking seriously, that voice inside, we all have, that constantly worries, my life changed turned around 360 degrees. Now my mind always is set on the best outcome scenario. Mark Twain Quotes: “I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.” Usually what we most fear to do it is what we most need to do. What I keep learning in my life is that progress is linked to facing uncomfortable conversations I need to have, and difficult decisions being made. Of course there are falls and worst case scenario outcomes from time to time, but as moving on towards success, I need to accept this, figure out how to solve them when it occurs and keep pressing on. Fear of the unknown and fear of worst outcomes prevented me doing things for many years that I am doing now. Would I ever dared to quit my day job and become a full-time actress in NYC and Estonia? But now I past that fear inside me, shut down the worrying voice and made room for creating ideas, dreaming and taking action by doing that very thing. My mind tells me that life is wonderful if you are truly ready to experience it’s good side.
Rain was over, and there on the deck of the ark is left standing, righteous man, released one bird at a time, and watching it closely, flew away. In his dreams has he flown away many times, sailing winds of winds in the horizon, tasting glimpses of endless rolling waves capped with white spray. Wishing to grasp once more soil in his hands, once again work to make peace with earth, to work with love to harvest all over again and gather the grapes for wine presses so his beloved could feed their souls and warm their hearts. The Man gazes upon the skyline, aboard countless pairs, worrying with scare some hearts, he asks to trust the dreams; to find a gate to greatness beyond. And there it was heard a faraway coo, where dove was flying peacefully before a shining aura of light, carrying an olive branch in its beak.
As my body is nurtured and mind is strong, I can fly without fear in my land of dreams. In the past I set sky-scraping goals for my future, to make mention I would have brought people to laughter. Today I watch out from my living room window and gaze, beautiful view, the city that never sleeps. Would I ever take those steps and had those sufferings if my dream would be something else, if it would not be so huge that makes me shiver? Would I be here? To this question all we know the answer, I would have given up long ago, long-long ago and live another life until I am gone, in the little town I came from. But here I am, writing this long letter and peaking sunrise in the corner of my eyes on this freezing day in January.